Drifting, In a Broken Darkness
by xxBurningxx
Summary: Because through all this pain and hurt, the one thing she failed to realize...Is the fact that he's been there for her all along.


**Story Note: Full-sentence italics represent something like Maka's thoughts, only they're still in 3rd person...And they're all pretty negative...Let's just say, if Maka had a little red demon imp insider her head, this would probably be its voice...Minus that last line...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater or its characters.**

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><p><strong>Drifting, In a Broken Darkness<strong>

**by.** _xxBurningxx_

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><p>It's only when she's alone, that she allows her mind to wander. Only when he's gone, does she allow herself to feel the pain. On the outside, everyone sees the same thing: a cheerful girl, a moody bookworm, a hard worker, everything they've always known her to be. But no one noticed the change; when those things went from being true to false, and she's glad, because she doesn't want to be a burden to them.<p>

_Because she is a burden to them._

But it's a slight disappointment as well, because she thought that even if no one else did, at least he would catch it; that he would be there to keep her from crumbling to pieces. And yet, as time passed, he didn't say a thing; not the tiniest clue to suggest that he acknowledged the shift in his "closest friend." She can feel her heart cracking more and more as she wonders: Were they really ever friends? Was their partnership fake? Was it really all just a lie?

_It's definitely a lie._

It was his fault that she was like this in the first place. But then again, was it really him; her faithful companion? Perhaps it wasn't him, but rather, it was them. The ones that have taken an interest to him lately. Fresh rage swirls within her just thinking about it. Every other night on a frequent bases, him leaving the apartment to go on a "date" with one of them. One of those sluts...strippers...whores.

_They're all the same._

And instantly, she hates herself for thinking these things. It's not them, they're not sluts or strippers or whores, but rather, her own classmates. And she hates how quickly she jumped to his defense, how quickly she told herself it wasn't his fault just because she didn't want to believe it was. But it was; he was the one who said 'yes' to their requests, he was the one who agreed. It was his fault, it had been from the very beginning.

_It has to be his fault, because if it wasn't, then who's the guilty one?_

And it didn't make a difference whose fault it was, the fact that he even went on a date was enough, because she still felt as though he had betrayed her. But had he really? He never had a true commitment to her, they'd never been a couple. He had no reason to be loyal to her like that. So why did it hurt so much? She should be in their place. She should be the one going to a nice cafe with him. She should be the one he's with. She, not them.

_But he doesn't belong to her, she's just being selfish._

Over and over again, the same question replays inside her mind.

She doesn't understand.

_Why does he_ go out with them, and not her?

But in reality, she does understand. It's all painfully crystal clear.

Her chest, although it's not entirely flat, doesn't even come close to comparing to theirs.

Those other girls most likely don't dent his head with a book every other hour.

And she's sure they don't argue about the smallest things. Stupid things like: _"Who burned the curry last night?"_

There was a time, that she scolded herself for fantasizing about the future, fantasizing of a day when perhaps they'd be more than friends. But she doesn't bother anymore; she knows that it isn't possible now, so why not shouldn't she let herself drift? They have no future together anyway.

_Humor me._

And it hurts so much to think that in the end, it was for nothing. It's so hard for her to think that after everything they've been through, he still didn't feel anything more for her. After all of those signs that perhaps, maybe, they could've been something more, there was still nothing. Notta. Zero. Zilch. The reality of it all strikes hard, and sometimes, she feels as though it is strong enough to make her delusional.

_She has nothing._

_She is nothing._

Perhaps the insanity's finally gotten to her, but sometimes, she can't help but laugh. Growing up, all those years of childhood thinking: 'I'll never let a man hurt me!' and 'Men are filthy trash!' It's funny, really. She tried so hard to prevent that horrible damage from happening, and yet, here she was, drowning in her own self pity. She wonders what her mama would say if she were here. She wonders if she would lend her a shoulder to cry on, or criticize her for falling for a guy.

_It doesn't matter, her mama isn't there. She never was._

But she'll make it. With a couple of sighs mixed in, she can manage.

_But will she really be okay? With all the pain bottled up inside?_

After she's through thinking the same things through for the umpteenth time and umpteenth night, she allows her mind to quit the wandering and finally slip into a deep and needed sleep.

Because she really needs the rest.

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><p>Then, there are the things that she does miss.<p>

She's been so caught up with her own thoughts that she doesn't seem to notice the things shifting within the wavelength that she's oh so familiar with.

So tangled with her own emotions that she doesn't acknowledge the yearning and longing seeping from her partner's soul.

Maka Albarnisn't dumb. No, she's quite the opposite actually. But that doesn't prevent her from being _oblivious to the obvious._

Because through all of this pain and hurt, the one thing she failed to realize...

Is the fact that he's been there for her all along...

_She just doesn't know it yet._

_~fin~_

**A/N: Short drabblething is short.**

**Yup, this is just a little something-drabble that I wrote in like, 10 minutes (At 2-somthing in the morning). I was bored and busy procrastinating on writing chapter 3 of Noches de Polvo. Don't worry though! I'm about 3/4 through with chapter 3, so it shouldn't be too long until I get that up.**

**Anyways. I don't really know where this drabble came from. Honestly. It's just semi-edited brainpuke (Because I honestly didn't try when I was writing this). I checked it over, there shouldn't be any spelling mistakes, and if there are...well...Frankly, I feel too lazy right now to care, lol.**

***Edit: Er...Uh, looking at this, I realize that I was so half-asleep when I uploaded this, that I didn't actually put the italic parts in. Yup, so I fixed that...Lol. **

**Yawn...**

**Anyone else entering the "Shonen Jump Love" Contest? (Even though this has nothing to do with Soul Eater) I totally am! I'm thinking about making a cake...Although...I'll probably epic-fail while doing it...So I might go for something simpler. A Bleach cake would be pretty cool. But I'd epic-fail at that too :/**

**Lol.**

**Oh well, brainstorming away right now! I still have a week to submit...Oh gawds, that's probably not enough time (at least with me, and my bad procratinating!)! Heh, whatever, goo' night!**


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